1.3

"To new beginnings," Janet said lifting her glass of water and taking a quick sip. Kaylee did the same. They'd been travelling for a few days now and it seemed as if a truce, of sorts, had sprung up between them. As a matter of fact, as they drove, Janet had talked about the things that she wanted to change about herself.

"It's a clean slate kid," she had said as they drove through the night. It had been so dark and so quiet, only the steady sounds of the tires moving had marred the silence until Janet had spoken.

"What?" Kaylee asked drowsily.

"It's a clean slate. No one knows us there. We can be whoever we want to be. All they'll know is what we tell them and every moment after."

Kaylee stared across the car at Janet. She sounded so excited, as if she had hated her old life as much as Kaylee had and couldn't wait to start a new one. "New beginnings," Kaylee muttered and Janet flashed her a quick grin.

"That's right."

Kaylee stared across the table at Janet. They had decided to stop off at a diner before reaching their destination. Janet did look a little tired. The make up she was wearing covered up the worst of the fatigue on her face and the dim lighting of the diner took care of the rest. Except Kaylee could still see the bags underneath of Janet's eyes and the slight lines around the corner of her mouth.
"Time doesn't stop for anyone...no matter how hard you wished it did," Janet said in a low voice as she picked up her menu. "I lived a hard life Kaylee. I'm not saying that to make excuses or that I regret any part of my life. What I did, what I didn't do makes me who I am now. My life may not be pretty but no one can say that I didn't live it."

Kaylee made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat. There was plenty about her life that she regretted but she didn't want to bring anything up and break the peace that they had going for them. When their food arrived they ate it amid spurts of conversation and laughter. Kaylee watched as Janet pulled out her wallet and taking out some money tossed it on the table. She opened her mouth then, thinking better of it, shut it and swallowed the question back.

Lately Janet seemed to have an abundance of money. Kaylee desperately wanted to know where she had gotten it from but she feared two things. One, that it would break the still shaky truce between them and two, that she would despise the answer. Getting back in t he car they chatted about various things as they tried to find their new place. Janet looked down at the scrap of paper she held then peered through the windshield.

"I think it's down this...holy shit!"

The car jerked to a stop and Kaylee hopped out to stare at the house in amazement. There were already people milling around the house...as if to welcome them. Feeling like a giddy little kid Kaylee rushed into the house to look around.





Two bedrooms, a kitchen and living room and a freaking pool and patio in the back! It was all amazing but what Kaylee was drawn to was the bookcase. She had always enjoyed reading and whatever money she had she carefully chose a book to own. But this place had its own bookcase with TONS of books. She grabbed one, sat on the floor and started to read but was interrupted by Janet coming in through the sliding back door. Glancing up she was confused by the bewildered look on her face.

"Janet, didn't you see this place before you rented it?"

"I...I didn't rent it. It's brought. It's ours kid. And...I went through a realtor who had a very good reputation for this sort of thing."

"But why...I mean how did you-"

"This place is fucking awesome,"Janet said hurriedly cutting her off. "Put down the book and let's go outside. It's too nice of a day to stay cooped inside."

Grinning Kaylee jumped up to put the book away, missing the way Janet, once again, looked around in bemusement.



"So, you want to go to college?"

Kaylee shifted on the grass as she followed the path of an interesting looking cloud. "Yeah, I don't know what I want to take up yet though. I just want to gain as much knowledge as I can about everything."

Kaylee laughed then shrugged leisurely. "I've been saving up whatever money I get from odd jobs and putting it towards my college fund."

"Yeah? How much you got saved?"

"A little over a grand. It's not much but I figure it'll allow me to take a few classes. Plus, I've applied for scholarships and everything. That should help...if I ever hear anything back from them."

"You always were a smart kid."

Closing her eyes Kaylee felt the warmth of the sun and and the cool breeze kiss her face as she pressed Janet's compliment close to her chest.

"Hey, let's get in that pool! This grass is scratching me up something fierce."







As Kaylee got into bed that night she smiled feeling happy for the first time in a long time. They had gotten into the pool, then had invited random neighbors that had walked by in as well. Afterwards they had lounged and then ate, inviting those same neighbors in as the sun slowly started to set. After the neighbors had left she and Janet had just sat down and talked some more. It seemed as if things were really changing for the better.


"New beginnings," she whispered before she drifted off to sleep.

The summer passed in an idyllic haze and before Kaylee knew it it was time to start her senior year of school. Getting up she peeked in Janet's room to make sure she was okay...before she remembered that Janet had a job that took her out of the house around six in the morning. Grinning she ate a quick breakfast then walked outside to wait for the bus. The paperboy walked by and grinned at her...and she grinned back. Andy had been the first friend she had made. She hadn't been scared to make a friend this time around. They stood and talked before the bus came.

Even Janet was making friends. On occasion she would bring co-workers home and talk about all the hard work they were doing for the government. Kaylee enjoyed those times spent listening to Janet and her friends...just be normal.

The first few months of school flew by. Because Kaylee was doing so well she sometimes got to leave school earlier than normal. Today was one of those days. Coming around the back she intended to surprise Janet. She stood outside Janet's door and was just getting ready to open it when she heard her voice raise.

"Look, I did what you told me to do. How long do you expect me to stay here? This town is-"

Kaylee stood frozen in place. She recognized that voice. It was a voice she hadn't heard in over three months. Without even thinking about it she went into her room and stared at the phone. Did she really want to hear what was going on? Did she really want to have all the hopes and happiness of the past three months dashed.

She watched as her arm rose up and her hand reached for the phone. It was if it had a mind of its own. She struggled for a few more moments before carefully picking up the phone and pressing it to her ear.

"-for the child." Kaylee caught the end of a sentence. She didn't recognize the voice and she couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman.


"Fuck the kid. I did what you told me to do. It's been three long months in this backwater town. I'm tired of being Susie homemaker. If I have to listen to that kid talk one more time about school or some crap I swear I'm going to scream."


"That's your daughter," the voice rasped.

"Yeah, well, Kaylee's a big girl. She can take care of herself while I go out. And yes, I know it wasn't part of our agreement but-"

"No, it wasn't part of our agreement. You're supposed to take care of your daughter, be a mother in exchange for-"

"Yeah, I know," Janet snapped before she hung up the phone.

Kaylee absently rubbed her ringing ear as she hurried across the room and hung the phone back up. She blinked rapidly to try and get rid of the burning in her eyes.




Thinking rapidly Kaylee wiped her face then walked out of her room, slipped back outside then came around the front and called out a greeting. She heard Janet's door open and she grabbed the newspaper and sat down on the couch.
"Hey kid! You just getting home?"
Kaylee felt a sharp pain stab her heart at Janet's cheery tones. She briefly closed her eyes before slapping a smile one her face. "Yep." She looked up to see a smile on Janet's face but she just couldn't get past her lying eyes. She looked back down at the paper.
"How was it?"
"The same old, same old."
"What are you doing now?"
"Looking for a job."
"For what?"
Kaylee slowly looked up. "You never know when things are going to change."
"Hmm,"Janet said absently. "Well, good luck with the job search. Just don't let it interfere with your school work."

A few days later Kaylee was sitting down to a late dinner. She tried to avoid Janet at all cost now because she was afraid she'd either break down and start sobbing or slap her for making her hope again and then have it all dashed. She looked up when she heard the tapping of heels on the wood floor.

"Hey, I'm going out for a few hours. Don't wait up for me."

Kaylee stared at her outfit. The past few months Janet had been dressing her part as Susie homemaker. No skimpy, tight clothes, no killer heels. Just jeans and a shirt. But tonight...tonight was totally different and the past rushed back to greet her with sneer. Shoving a spoonful of mac and cheese into her mouth she just nodded her head. After cleaning up the kitchen Kaylee went straight to bed.

She woke up later then usually the next day, she didn't have school or work so it wasn't a big deal. Yawning, she saw that the door to Janet's room was closed. Shrugging she padded into the kitchen and made herself lunch. She was just sitting down when she heard the door down the hall open.

Right after Janet came out and without even a word or a glance at Kaylee went to the fridge. When she turned around Kaylee saw that she was holding a bottle of beer. She watched, out the corner of her eye, as Janet walked to the couch and sat down. She was surprised at how haggard Janet looked. There were dark circles underneath of her eyes that hadn't been there before. Or, maybe they had and she just hadn't noticed because she couldn't stand to look her in the face anymore.

Kaylee ignored the man as he came out of the bathroom and joined Janet on the couch. And she tried to ignore the sounds that came soon after but couldn't. She sat there, frozen before shoving back her chair and rushing to her room.

Laying on her bed she tried to, once again, figure out who the voice on the other end of the phone could be. And just what where they doing for Janet in order for her to move halfway across the state and play a role that she hadn't played in over eight years? Getting out her journal she added those questions to the long list that was forming.

Kaylee stayed in her room the entire weekend as she heard the sounds of male voices and Janet's door opening and closing. Slipping on her MP3 player she tried to drift into oblivion.

Monday came too slowly for Kaylee. She hurriedly got dressed and rushed out her room only to come to a screeching halt when she saw Janet up and fixing breakfast.
"I was just about to come and wake you. You still have time to eat right?"
What in the hell, Kaylee thought as she watched Janet turned back to the stove. The woman acts as if she has dual personalities.
"Uh, no...I have to be at school earlier. I think I'm going to walk. Bye."
Kaylee quickly walked down the sidewalk. She didn't bother to look back and didn't feel Janet's gaze on her.